Pilar Jerico

There’s no evidence whatsoever that men are more rational than women. Both sexes seem to be equally irrational.

Albert Ellis, psychologist

Possibly, one of the clubs with the largest membership lists in the world is the club of people who’ve been sacked. Even so, we often find it difficult to tell even those close to us that we’ve been fired, and losing one’s job is usually a deeply painful experience. Albert Ellis, one of the most influential psychologists of the 20^th century, explains why this is so. He says that our way of thinking follows an ABC pattern: A is the initial fact which sets our thoughts in motion; B is our mental maps; and C is our subsequent behaviour.

When faced with being dismissed, the break-up of a relationship, or any painful event (the A of Ellis’ formula), there are some people who might say to themselves (Ellis’ B): “I’ll never get another job”, while others might opine “my dismissal was completely unfair” or “I can’t stand this happening to me”. All these reactions will clearly lead to despair or to anger (stage C). When we are mad at the world, all this negative energy only serves to harm us and is really unbearable for those we come into contact with. However, the same event can be lived through differently if we think: “this is an unpleasant experience” or “unfortunately, I’m now one of the millions of unemployed”. The objective facts haven’t changed, but our way of experiencing them, and the time it takes us to get over the pain will be very different (to the relief those close to us). The key to this difference is the mental maps we use to interpret reality. This explains why two people see things quite differently when confronting the same situation. So, being laid off, or any kind of unpleasant occurrence, is something that we may not be able to avoid (A), but we can choose the mental maps we to use to view the event (B).